What a hard thing for your dad, Sam. And it's not only in this country, of course.
In rapidly-aging Japan, it's projected that some 68,000 people will die similar "lonely deaths" this year. There's even a Japanese term for it, kodokushi, referring to “a person who dies without being cared for by anyone, and whose body is found after a certain period”.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how the fundamental challenge may be that we just live in a society that is both extremely large and individualistic. Urbanization has made us so disconnected from needing each other. Small intimate community used to provide us with healthcare, safety, food, ritual, spirituality, emotional support, conflict mediation, etc. Now we turn to the government and broad social systems, distant mass food producers, therapists, lawyers, police departments, insurance companies, etc for the same needs.
The pessimistic part of me worries that no amount of governmental solutions, policies, mental health support, or community entrepreneurship will fill the hole of our loneliness as long as we are in this large scale, capitalistic, and individualistic societal container.
Or put another way: large scale populations require large scale systems to peacefully sustain itself. But scale comes at the cost of intimacy. Is intimate community and connection possible for everyone when there are so many humans that need to coexist?
I practiced family medicine for 45 years and, after reading about the increasing isolation of men from friendships and the health risks of loneliness and social isolation, I started asking my men patients, as part of their annual review of health, whether they had five people, outside of family and work, who they could call if they needed to talk with someone. In a decade of doing this - whether successful academics or my more blue collar patients, fewer than half could name 5 people. It has been shown in many studies that the loss of volunteer social groups has affected men more than women and makes them vulnerable to predatory or other sources of "collegiality".
Thanks for sharing this story and your report. I know loneliness is like our education system in the way it is a wicked, complicated, multifaceted problem, but bursts of innovation and energized community building certainly feels hopeful (thinking about the interview you did with Colton and Saumya from build.irl). We will see which solutions are scalable! A little bit off topic but still relevant is this Economist article from last year on the (dying) art of conversation, which I believe is contributing to the loneliness epidemic, in addition to all the reasons David mentioned below: https://www.economist.com/special-report/2006/12/19/chattering-classes
Powerful reflection. Looking forward to reading the report, Sam.
Sam and I chatted yesterday and I had the thought that you two should meet if you hadn’t already. And here you are 😌
Thanks @Casper and @David!
What a hard thing for your dad, Sam. And it's not only in this country, of course.
In rapidly-aging Japan, it's projected that some 68,000 people will die similar "lonely deaths" this year. There's even a Japanese term for it, kodokushi, referring to “a person who dies without being cared for by anyone, and whose body is found after a certain period”.
Here's an article on how the Japanese are trying to respond to this situation: https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/jul/01/life-at-the-heart-of-japans-solitary-deaths-epidemic-i-would-be-lying-if-i-said-i-wasnt-worried#:~:text=Almost%2022%2C000%20people%20in%20Japan,with%20about%2027%2C000%20in%202011.
Damn this hits hard. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how the fundamental challenge may be that we just live in a society that is both extremely large and individualistic. Urbanization has made us so disconnected from needing each other. Small intimate community used to provide us with healthcare, safety, food, ritual, spirituality, emotional support, conflict mediation, etc. Now we turn to the government and broad social systems, distant mass food producers, therapists, lawyers, police departments, insurance companies, etc for the same needs.
The pessimistic part of me worries that no amount of governmental solutions, policies, mental health support, or community entrepreneurship will fill the hole of our loneliness as long as we are in this large scale, capitalistic, and individualistic societal container.
Or put another way: large scale populations require large scale systems to peacefully sustain itself. But scale comes at the cost of intimacy. Is intimate community and connection possible for everyone when there are so many humans that need to coexist?
I practiced family medicine for 45 years and, after reading about the increasing isolation of men from friendships and the health risks of loneliness and social isolation, I started asking my men patients, as part of their annual review of health, whether they had five people, outside of family and work, who they could call if they needed to talk with someone. In a decade of doing this - whether successful academics or my more blue collar patients, fewer than half could name 5 people. It has been shown in many studies that the loss of volunteer social groups has affected men more than women and makes them vulnerable to predatory or other sources of "collegiality".
Thanks for sharing this story and your report. I know loneliness is like our education system in the way it is a wicked, complicated, multifaceted problem, but bursts of innovation and energized community building certainly feels hopeful (thinking about the interview you did with Colton and Saumya from build.irl). We will see which solutions are scalable! A little bit off topic but still relevant is this Economist article from last year on the (dying) art of conversation, which I believe is contributing to the loneliness epidemic, in addition to all the reasons David mentioned below: https://www.economist.com/special-report/2006/12/19/chattering-classes